Slow gossip day…

• Jennifer Aniston and David Spade hung out for a little while on Monday.  She was sitting on his lap.  Wonder if she could feel what we now know is his giant magic stick?  I knew Jen and I had something in common - we’re both size queens!  That said, I think they’re probably just friends.
• Katherine Heigl and her hubby saved a puppy in Mexico and named his Oscar.  Someone’s working on their image.  Btw, I can’t believe the direction they went with her Grey’s character.  Guess that’s what happens when you talk smack about the writers.
• Clay Aiken on ANTM?  That just sounds wrong.  There’s a rumor he might be one of the guest judges.
• In case you care (I don’t), Denise Richards and Steve-O are going to be on next season’s Dancing With The Stars.

• Miley Cyrus is an idiot and now Asians are mad at her.  People - if you are famous and have endorsement deals, just don’t let people take pictures of you at parties.  Seriously.  Don’t whine.  It’s the cost of doing business.
• David Spade is hung, according to an old flame who appeared on the Howard Stern show.  So, that explains why he gets the ladies.  Now that I think about it, he is kinda cute…..
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo’s relationship is a sham.  There is a super obvious blind item floating around today that is basically saying she lefts him F whoever he wants as long as they “publicly” stay together for the press.
• Joe Francis got arrested again.  He could spend 10 years in jail this time.  Sorry about it.
• Scarlett Johansson is a brunette now.  I don’t like it, but then again, I never understood what the big deal is.  She’s not THAT hot.  Is she?
• In a case of one step forward and two steps back, after making some smart choices lately, Amy Winehouse is planning to go to Jamaica to record her new album because it’s a very “inspirational” place.  Yes, it’s very inspirational if by inspirational you mean full of drugs.
• Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher might adopt a baby.
• Katherine Heigl is smoking again.
• Gweneth Paltrow wishes she could start smoking again and plans to resume the habit when she’s 70.
• Elizabeth Edwards is writing a tell-all novel about her husband being an ass.
• The Britney news of the day is the defamation lawsuit that scumtwat Sam Lufti is bringing against B’s parents.

The UK’s News of the World is reporting that Amy Winehouse is telling friends that her marriage to Blake is finally over.  She’s said to have told friends that the marriage was all about sex and now that he’s incarcerated, they have nothing else in their relationship to focus on.  The article reports that they had a bunch of threesomes and “were into some real kinky stuff, not just the usual bondage and sex games but really gross stuff you couldn’t mention in a newspaper.”  And this is a British newspaper so it’s got to be really bad for them to not print it.  While I don’t think the article is totally false, I don’t think the sources are that great because they are attributing some quotes to Amy Winehouse that I don’t think she’s really capable of saying in her current state.  I hope for her sake that this is true and she cuts him out of her life, but I also kinda think it’s too late.

David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan were seen canoodling at a club in LA recently.  Has anyone heard any rumors about the size of his member or the motion of the ocean?  He can’t get all these women just with his humor alone, can he?  He does have a full head of hair so I guess he’s got a leg up on Michael Bolton there.

Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta (you know, the white one) has been telling people she’s going to pose for Playboy.  Great.  Good to know.  Don’t forget to watch the reunion show tomorrow on Bravo.  Reports are that the “housewives” throw down.  It’s gonna be good.

2006 Celebrity Father of the Year from the 2007 Celebrity Family of the year aka Gordon Ramsey has been having an affair for 7 years.  Oh, and he does poppers, with his mistress who he makes go buy the drugs.  Color me ironic!

Sidenote - I love gossip stories I can learn from, like the one above, for example.  Before reading the article, I had no idea poppers were legal in the UK.  Anyone want to fly to London with me for a sex weekend?  We don’t have to do it together, we can just go there, land some hot British boys, preferably dirty, dirty ones, and do poppers all weekend with them.  Fun!

And, finally, for those of you who care (do any of you care?) about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from The Hills, they secretly got married in Mexico.  Perez Hilton is reporting that they were in Mexico on vacation and “on a whim” decided to get married on the beach.  No family was present and the whole thing was over in 15 minutes.  But, do not despair,  they’ve already sold the pics to Us Weekly.