• The atrocity above is why you are NEVER EVER bitchy to your fashion gay.  Madonna’s outfit is so atrocious, it couldn’t have been done on accident. EVERYTHING is wrong with it.  That thing on her head could only be invented by a gay man done wrong.  That, or she let David Banda dress her.
• Beyonce wants to play Eartha Kitt in a biopic of her life.  As Whitney would say, Hell to Mother F-ing No!  Beyonce thinks she’s fierce, Eartha was the definition of fierce.  Bitch needs to step off.
• Cheryl Cole got bit by a crazed fan.  This really is the week of the crazed fan.
• Paula Adbul says she’s sixth months sober now.  Right, and I’m 6 hours sober.  Actually, I believe her.  That is, I believe her if her definition of sobriety is switching from taking her Vicodin with Grey Goose to white wine.

Sorry for not posting sooner.  This weekend was full of debauchery.  While out and about (and a little bit drunk), I ran into a few insiders who were more than happy to offer up some juicy tidbits for you.

A staffer from one of the biggest music companies was all too willing to tell a little story about how a girl from Barbados almost didn’t get her record contract.  Music execs were not always in love with Rhianna - in the beginning, they thought her voice sounded way too much like Beyonce and Shakira.  Worried that her deal might fall through, she attended a late night “negotiating” session with Jay-Z.  She must have been very persuasive because later that very night, she was officially given her record deal and the rest is history.  See Ladies, a little hard work always pays off…you just might need to bring knee pads with you.

It’s always been known that there is no love lost between Beyonce and Rhianna and know we know why.  What we didn’t know was that Beyonce’s got plently of hatred to spread to her co-stars.  The same staffer tells me that she made a face and mouthed “B*tch” and “F*ck” when Jennifer Hudson won her Oscar.  They totally should have shown that on the Oscar’s telecast.  Maybe then it wouldn’t have been quite the snore fest.

Our final bit of gossip comes from a staffer at one of those trendy NYC boutiques all the starlets frequent.  Apparently, Brandy (if you can remember her) payed paparazzi to take her photo when she was shopping.  Can you smell that?  It’s the scent of desperation in the air.  Oh, the same staffer said that my favorite former girl group member Aubrey O’Day is a “beast” and “super tacky” in person.  I don’t believe that, I just think he’s a little jealous of her fabulosity.  Not everyone can take a $500 dress and make it look like something off the $5 clearance rack at Rainbow - that kind of think takes a little something I call “true class”.