This image of all of this week’s Jon & Kate magazine covers is kind of mind-numbing. I actually watched an episode of it last night and the way they relate to each other now is so different from the first season of the show. Yes, I have watched every season of this show. Michael K over at DListed has a really great breakdown of what each of the magazines is saying this week. I personally just wanted to bring to your attention the story from her ex-fiance who says she used to each a lot of junk food and their typical date night consisted of an evening at Ruby Tuesdays. I love Ruby Tuesdays and had to give it a shout out here on NSG. Whenever my main gay and I need some special “us” time, we always find a romantic little corner table near the salad bar where we can go to town on some spinach artichoke dip and some pumpernickel croutons with avocado ranch dressing. Mmm…moving on…
Ashlee Simpson got wiggity wasted at a party recently and ended up making a fool of herself in front of everyone. Guess those pregnancy rumors were false.
Rihanna might leak some “less than flattering” nude photos of Chris Brown because she’s pissed about the nude photos leaked of her. She’s convinced someone from his camp leaked them. She’s also been talking smack about sexy time skills. Apparently, he’s clumsy.
The National Enquirer claims Brangelina are over. Brad is going to film a couple of movies in California while Angelina takes the kids to their French Chateau. I don’t really believe the story but they have broken a few really great stories this year so I thought I’d let y’all know. I’d like to think Brad would probably not let the kids go so easily.
Madonna is paying a lot of money to turn her boy toy Jesus into a DJ. She’s shelling out a small fortune on lessons and equipment. I’m not going to knock it. He’s working hard for that money.
Happy Friday! In lieu of a celeb photo, I present a puppy falling asleep in a bowl of water. This will probably be my weekend. Just replace the puppy with a drunk blonde chick and the bowl of water with a pitcher of beer. Cheers!
According to Page Six, Sean Penn and Natalie Portman are still hitting it. I don’t get it. How do you go from Gael Garcia Bernal to Sean Penn? Sean Penn must have a monster cock that the only explanation why Natalie is still riding it and why Robin Wright Penn put up with so much shizz during their marriage. There’s really no other explanation.
Those Madonna / Jesus Luz marriage rumors were sort of true. They aren’t getting legally married but they are planning a Kaballah commitment ceremony. Interesting. I, shockingly, am not gonna hate on this. I kinda like the idea. You get to stand in front of your friends and share your love, throw a party and get presents. I do love presents and parties.
The Jon & Kate drama is neverending. Her brother and sister-in-law (who very, very few of you will remember from the early seasons of the show) sold their story. According to her brother, the marriage has been over for at least six months and Kate is a money hungry famewhore. When TLC offered him and his wife money for their participation in the show, Kate pushed him out because she wanted all the money for herself. Oh, and she really wants to be a talkshow host.
In other Jon & Kate news, Kate thinks her hair is awesome and that lots of people want to rock her style. WRONG!
John Mayer isn’t over Jennifer Aniston and often spends his nights alone playing his guitar. This is according to the slut that he started f-ing after his split with Jen.
Ashley Olsen has retired from acting. She’s now 100% a fashion designer. For those of you who care.
Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Tony Awards. I’m so loving his career resurrection.
There is more baby news to report! (Insert feigned surprise.) Wanda Sykes and her partner just had twins - one boy and one girl. Ashlee Simpson might be pregnant. We hear this one might be another band-aid baby.
The US version of Absolutely Fabulous has been shut down. The pilot wasn’t picked up. Thank GAWD.
Now that Paulina Porizkova has been fired from ANTM she’s letting her claws out. She thinks the “big ego” producers referred to when they fired her - on her birthday - had something to so with the fact that she was the only one who spoke up about how unfair it was that Tyra would often show up to set 6 hours late and not apologize when everyone else was on time. Oh, and her and Tyra never ever spoke off camera.
There is hope for gals like us after all! Who says a hard drinking, slightly trampy girl in her late 20’s won’t meet anyone nice? The blond chick in the photo above is 27 year old Astrid Harbord aka Prince Harry’s newest lady love. After a recent night of partying, he took her back to his palace. It’s likely they’ll run into each other again because Astrid is friends with Prince William’s girlfriend, Kate.
Amy Winehouse is not headlining Coachella this year. The good news is that it’s due to visa troubles which is a much more respectable excuse than being asleep in a gutter after a 5 day crack binge.
Britney had a little wardrobe malfunction at her concert in Tampa. She exclaimed “My pussy was hanging out!” backstage. (Un)Fortunately, her mic was still on so the audience heard it. Oh a lighter note, she spent some time at a children’s hospital in Miami hanging out with sick kids.
Today’s WTF!?! news comes from the CW. Ashlee Simpson is the latest to join the cast of the new Melrose Place. I thought this show had a 5% chance for survival. Now it’s down to about .5% but only on the odd hope that they get Amanda Woodward aka Heather Locklear to make a cameo.
Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have called it quits, again.
Dakota Fanning is officially in the Twilight sequel, New Moon. The studio confirmed the news.
Coolio was busted for crack possession at LAX. More embarrassing than the arrest is the fact that it’s an arrest for crack. Nothing screams “My career is virtually over and I’ve spent most of my royalties!” like crack.
Let’s all send some positive vibes to Peter Tork from the Monkees. He has a rare form of head/neck cancer. They were my favorite band growing up and one of the first I ever saw live. Best of luck to Peter in his recovery.
Kelly Clarkson has the #1 song! She broke Britney’s record for the quickest jump to #1. 2009 is proving to be a good year for my girls. If you haven’t heard the new single, My Life Would Suck Without You, you can listen to it above. It’s a cute song.
Salma Hayek and Colin Farrell were spotted kissing backstage at the Golden Globes. They used to F and neither is a prudish American so it’s possible it was just a slightly-more-than-friendly hello kiss.
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer have called it quits, according to US Weekly. According to Star Magazine, they are still going strong. I guess we’ll wait to see if she brings him to the Oscars.
Ashlee Simpson is still an idiot. Guess motherhood can’t change that.
This is AMAZING! TMZ has a side by side comparison of Britney’s hot new bod with her old crazy chunky bod. You have to check it out. This is my new weight loss inspiration.
Ashlee Simpson is still pregnant. I feel like she’s been preggers for an eternity. Anyway, Jessica told Ellen that Ashlee might have to induce labor because the baby is not budging. Would you be in such a rush to join the world if you knew your parents shared were Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? Or, that your grandpa was Joe Simpson?
Today’s daily dose of Britney comes from a course close to Madonna. According to AbsoluteNow.com “Britney asked Madonna if she will ever marry again after her split from Guy. Madonna not only said she wouldn’t but told Britney to forget about marriage. She said it just doesn’t work for girls like them. Madonna clearly sees a lot of herself in Britney because she seems very eager to help her.” I have one thing to say to Madonna – BUTT THE F OUT. Her presence really doesn’t do anything for Brit and, dare I ask, what does Madonna know about relationships? Seems all of hers always fail. That’s like someone asking me how to get a guy to treat them like a lady. I don’t know how to do it so I butt the F out when people ask.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, and Jeff Marx, co-creator of Avenue Q, are writing a Broadway musical called Mormon Musical. Genius. I hope they are putting more effort into this than the new season of South Park, which in my opinion kinda blows these days.
Wanda Sykes came out of the closet at the Las Vegas Prop 8 rally this weekend. She got married to her wife on October 25th. Congrats Wanda!
Kelly Osbourne is engaged to her model boyfriend, Luke Worall. Word spread after her fiancé changed his status on facebook to “engaged to Kelly Osbourne”. Oh, facebook. It really is an added challenge to the dating game. Like, when you hook up with a guy and he friends you. Are you supposed to reach out to him? Wait for him to reach out to you? Does getting added as a friend even mean anything? And, what if he does reach out to you but it’s a wall post vs. an email? So confusing.
Tyra Banks is going to give Isis King, the transgendered woman from this season’s ANTM, the sexual reassignment surgery that she can’t afford. This is actually super nice and warm my cold, black heart just a little. Of course, the gift is going to be wrapped up in a Tyra episode on the topic.
