Happy Friday! In lieu of a celeb photo, I present a puppy falling asleep in a bowl of water. This will probably be my weekend. Just replace the puppy with a drunk blonde chick and the bowl of water with a pitcher of beer. Cheers!
According to Page Six, Sean Penn and Natalie Portman are still hitting it. I don’t get it. How do you go from Gael Garcia Bernal to Sean Penn? Sean Penn must have a monster cock that the only explanation why Natalie is still riding it and why Robin Wright Penn put up with so much shizz during their marriage. There’s really no other explanation.
Those Madonna / Jesus Luz marriage rumors were sort of true. They aren’t getting legally married but they are planning a Kaballah commitment ceremony. Interesting. I, shockingly, am not gonna hate on this. I kinda like the idea. You get to stand in front of your friends and share your love, throw a party and get presents. I do love presents and parties.
The Jon & Kate drama is neverending. Her brother and sister-in-law (who very, very few of you will remember from the early seasons of the show) sold their story. According to her brother, the marriage has been over for at least six months and Kate is a money hungry famewhore. When TLC offered him and his wife money for their participation in the show, Kate pushed him out because she wanted all the money for herself. Oh, and she really wants to be a talkshow host.
In other Jon & Kate news, Kate thinks her hair is awesome and that lots of people want to rock her style. WRONG!
John Mayer isn’t over Jennifer Aniston and often spends his nights alone playing his guitar. This is according to the slut that he started f-ing after his split with Jen.
Ashley Olsen has retired from acting. She’s now 100% a fashion designer. For those of you who care.
Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Tony Awards. I’m so loving his career resurrection.
There is more baby news to report! (Insert feigned surprise.) Wanda Sykes and her partner just had twins - one boy and one girl. Ashlee Simpson might be pregnant. We hear this one might be another band-aid baby.
The US version of Absolutely Fabulous has been shut down. The pilot wasn’t picked up. Thank GAWD.
Now that Paulina Porizkova has been fired from ANTM she’s letting her claws out. She thinks the “big ego” producers referred to when they fired her - on her birthday - had something to so with the fact that she was the only one who spoke up about how unfair it was that Tyra would often show up to set 6 hours late and not apologize when everyone else was on time. Oh, and her and Tyra never ever spoke off camera.
Today is a very special day. It’s the anniversary of the birth of my favorite dirty British boy. Happy 23rd Birthday, Rob!
There is some ANTM dramz in the house. Paulina Porizkova was fired by producers on her BIRTHDAY! That’s cold. Even colder, they told it’s because of her huge ego…oh and they needed to save money, which is a fair reason. She must have pissed off Tyra big time for them to call her on her birthday, fire her and basically call her a b!tch.
This Jon & Kate drama is getting out of control. In People Magazine, Kate admits they might get divorced. In US Magazine, “sources” say Kate might be having an affair with her bodyguard. Star Magazine claims that Jon and Kate have a contract allowing him to cheat as long as he stays on the show. And, finally, the National Enquirer claims Kate has a violent temper and would lose the kids in a divorce. Wow. I’m tempted to say this is all a publicity stunt, but I dunno. All I really care about is who is talking to Aiden about animals? Who is Alexis screaming at? Jon and Kate can pretend to be the stars of the show but we all know Aiden and Alexis are the real stars. (Kudos to the very, very few of you who what I’m referring to.)
Lindsay Lohan has a messy house. The cops were called over and they couldn’t figure out if the place was ransacked or just plain messy. Is anyone genuinely surprised that a cokehead starlet and her idiotic, spoiled 15 year old sister can’t pick up after themselves?
More baby news - Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden are having a boy.
Is Daniel Radcliff gay? I know he’s been hanging out with a drag queen lately but I just thought he was one of those beautiful and rare straight male creatures who are 100% comfortable with the gays. (Yes, yes, lots of straight guys hang out with gay men but I ask you how many of the ones you know are TRULY, TRULY comfortable? It’s very rare, trust.) Well, a Ben Widdicombe blind item is insinuating Harry Potter is actually gay - “Which quietly gay young actor referred to in a previous Cut the Labels item has started hanging out with a drag queen crowd? Methinks the closet door is cracking open.” Interesting…I knew there was a reason I was so sexually attracted to Harry Potter. It always works that way.
If you were watching ANTM last night and are a regular reader of the blog, you weren’t surprised to hear that Tyra is taking the girls to Sao Paolo. That’s right, you heard it here first. In fact, EVERYONE, including NY magazine, heard it here first.
We may not have many sources here at NSG, but the ones we have are legit.
So after seeing the glory that was the Circus starring Britney Spears, my ass got sick and I laid on the couch for three days. Hence, the lack of posting. Here’s the celeb gossip that we missed. A lot of shizz happens when I get sick.
There were lots of babies born. Jenna Jameson & Tito Ortiz had twins. Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke also had twins. Carson Daly just had one.
Natasha Richardson was critically injured in a skiing accident in Canada.
Madonna was busy. Her boy toy, Jesus Luz, moved into her NYC apartment. She’s also thinking of adopting another African baby.
Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips are engaged. I didn’t even know they were dating.
There was a near riot at the ANTM auditions here in NYC.
Lindsay Lohan had some legal issues. No worries, her lawyers already cleared things up.
Lindsay had a busy weekend. Her and Samantha Ronson got in a huge fight at their house during which one of them through somethings through a window and broke it. Cops were called in.
Fergie went brunette.
Jaime Kennedy and Jennifer Love Hewitt are dating.
People Magazine confirms that John Mayer broke up with Jennifer Aniston.
Michael Jackson sold out 50 concerts in a few hours.
Lily Allen beat up a paparazzo.
Britney Spears may have a secret boyfriend - her longtime talent agent, Jason Trawick. Papa Spears approves.
Howard K. Stern was arrested and charged in connection to the death of Anna Nicole Smith. It’s about damn time.
Natalie Portman needs to get cut. She was flirting with Robert Pattinson at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. According to Rob’s friend, “She seemed really into him, and went right up to say hello once she spotted him. She was batting those beautiful eyelashes at Pattinson, and he seemed to be enjoying every minute of it. And there were a lot of minutes.” Seriously, life is so not fair sometimes. Not only is she gorgeous, she looks like she’s the kind of girl who doesn’t have to worry about her weight, she’s Ivy League educated, she’s a talented actress and, as if that wasn’t enough, she get’s to run her hands through his greasy hair. The clip above is his presentation at the Oscars. He wasn’t that great but if you stare at the clip from the right angle, he looks like he’s F-ing you with his eyes.
Papa Spears told the court that Adnan and Sam Lufti gave Britney a pre-paid cell phone to call them in a bid to undermine her conservatorship. Those two are like roaches. You think you’ve squashed them but then they start to wiggle again, flip themselves back over and scurry off to prepare for the next battle.
This is the best news I’ve heard all day - Ron Howard confirmed that the Arrested Development movie is definitely going to happen. Although, he did refuse to say which actors were going to be involved.
Tyra Banks continues to ride the crazy train. In the latest casting call for America’s Next Top Model Season 13, the producers ask for models who are 5′7″ or below. Yes, you read that right. 5′7″ and BELOW. Maybe if I start to starve myself now…OOH, or I could stop dieting and put on more weight and be the plus sized girl. Hmm…
Jennifer Aniston and David Spade hung out for a little while on Monday. She was sitting on his lap. Wonder if she could feel what we now know is his giant magic stick? I knew Jen and I had something in common - we’re both size queens! That said, I think they’re probably just friends.
Katherine Heigl and her hubby saved a puppy in Mexico and named his Oscar. Someone’s working on their image. Btw, I can’t believe the direction they went with her Grey’s character. Guess that’s what happens when you talk smack about the writers.
Clay Aiken on ANTM? That just sounds wrong. There’s a rumor he might be one of the guest judges.
In case you care (I don’t), Denise Richards and Steve-O are going to be on next season’s Dancing With The Stars.
Ashlee Simpson is still pregnant. I feel like she’s been preggers for an eternity. Anyway, Jessica told Ellen that Ashlee might have to induce labor because the baby is not budging. Would you be in such a rush to join the world if you knew your parents shared were Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? Or, that your grandpa was Joe Simpson?
Today’s daily dose of Britney comes from a course close to Madonna. According to AbsoluteNow.com “Britney asked Madonna if she will ever marry again after her split from Guy. Madonna not only said she wouldn’t but told Britney to forget about marriage. She said it just doesn’t work for girls like them. Madonna clearly sees a lot of herself in Britney because she seems very eager to help her.” I have one thing to say to Madonna – BUTT THE F OUT. Her presence really doesn’t do anything for Brit and, dare I ask, what does Madonna know about relationships? Seems all of hers always fail. That’s like someone asking me how to get a guy to treat them like a lady. I don’t know how to do it so I butt the F out when people ask.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park, and Jeff Marx, co-creator of Avenue Q, are writing a Broadway musical called Mormon Musical. Genius. I hope they are putting more effort into this than the new season of South Park, which in my opinion kinda blows these days.
Wanda Sykes came out of the closet at the Las Vegas Prop 8 rally this weekend. She got married to her wife on October 25th. Congrats Wanda!
Kelly Osbourne is engaged to her model boyfriend, Luke Worall. Word spread after her fiancé changed his status on facebook to “engaged to Kelly Osbourne”. Oh, facebook. It really is an added challenge to the dating game. Like, when you hook up with a guy and he friends you. Are you supposed to reach out to him? Wait for him to reach out to you? Does getting added as a friend even mean anything? And, what if he does reach out to you but it’s a wall post vs. an email? So confusing.
Tyra Banks is going to give Isis King, the transgendered woman from this season’s ANTM, the sexual reassignment surgery that she can’t afford. This is actually super nice and warm my cold, black heart just a little. Of course, the gift is going to be wrapped up in a Tyra episode on the topic.
Whitney, the plus-sized winner of the last cycle of America’s Next Top Model, was just spotted shopping at the Old Navy on 34th Street here in Manhattan. Not only was she shopping at Old Navy, she was searching through the clearance racks!!! No need to worry that her Cover Girl checks aren’t clearing though, she was spotted with a giant, fierce Louis Vuitton bag.
Ex-Files: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni are getting divorced. The surprising thing here is that he dumped her for getting sexy text messages from Billy Bob Thorton. Isn’t that a case of the sex-addict calling the kettle black?
In light of the divorce news, the rumors about Madonna and A-Rod dating are swirling again. Let’s hope she remembers the pre-nup this time.
Spears News: It’s been a while since I’ve reported on the goings on in everyone’s favorite Bayou Clan. I think the fact that her “Womanizer” video didn’t look like Preston and J.J. made it dumbfounded me into silence for a few days. In extremely good news for our girl B, the track just broke records by jumping from #96 to #1. She also beat Mariah Carey’s record for first week download sales for a female artist. This is huge, y’all. She has also hired a company to start the early phases of planning her world tour!
Not that you care but, Lisa Bonet is very pregnant.
On the Today Show this morning, Angelina said that Brangelina are going to adopt another kid. I think what they do is awesome and worthy of their godlike status, but shouldn’t you wait til you are done breastfeeding your twins before you go kid shopping? Just aksin’.
City Sighting! For the two of you who remember her, Fatima from the last cycle of ANTM (the one that looks like a broke down version of Iman) was spotted at a midtown Chipotle location. Our spotters noticed two interesting things: 1 - she was getting food at Chipotle (disclaimer: no one saw her eat it) and 2 - she’s much shorter than a model should be.
Here’s another exclusive report from our resident restaurant snoop:
“Ok, so Tyra has been a regular at my restaurant, sometimes coming in twice a week. She is always with the same man. Definitely more than canoodling! Ive seen her kiss him on the lips and so forth. She asked my manager if he spoke Spanish. And then preceded to tell an anecdote of when they (her and her lover) were on vacation in Cali or Mexico. I do know he works in finance. Their relationship is bi-coastal. And its been going on for years. He is about 6″8″, very handsome and well dressed.
OHH, and the Tyra diet. Yes she loves to eat! In the beginning of the week she ONLY eats vegetarian. In the middle of the week she integrates fishes. And by the end of the week she’s eating a rack of ribs! She orders a lot of sides with her entree.
On to Top Model news: she was on the phone most of her dinner with I’m assuming a producer from the show. She was mentioning the girls arriving in San Paolo. Getting Samba dancers and batacuda drummers to meet them on their arrival. A photo shoot with masks was mentioned (is this new crop so ugly she wants to hid their faces??).”
And there you have it. Riveting reporting, I know.
