Don’t Talk to a Man First?  Seriously?  If I can’t get wasted and yell “Hey!” at boys from across the bar, how am I ever going to get laid?

Here is their rational for their “rule”: “By talking to a man first, we interfere with whatever was supposed to happen or not happen, perhaps causing a conversation or a date to occur that was never meant to be and inevitably getting hurt in the process.”  Soooo, what they are telling me is that I can’t go talk to the sensitive, lonely looking hottie because I am supposed to be waiting around for a farting, fat asshole to ask me out because that is how it’s meant to be?  I also take issue with the whole if you talk to a man, you’ll get hurt thing.  I’ve been hurt plenty of times by guys who started talking to me first.  Life hurts and since it does, we might as well get to pick our pain and not wait for it to pick us.

But they don’t just stop there.  They go on to explain that smart, educated women think their diplomas and paychecks entitle them to “do more in life than wait for the phone to ring” and therefore “always end up heartbroken”.  Do I even need to explain my issue with this statement?

Oh and they also warn us about being forward on the dance floor.  If no one asks us to dance, we are told to “go to the bathroom five times to reapply your lipstick” and “make phone calls to your married friends for encouragement” until someone finally notices us.  I would just dance alone and do my thing and trust that the fellas will notice but I guess I’m not Rules material.  Their advice for someone like me who couldn’t go dancing and not dance is to “stay home, do situps, watch Seinfeld and reread the rules”.  Awesome.  That totally sounds like the way to get a man.  I guess I know how I’m spending my Friday night.