I watch the new 90210. I have no taste in television. My co-worker and I email about the show and my email to her this week was too ridiculous not to share:
So, Silver made out with Ethan on the last episode and Naomi doesn’t care because she’s still in love with Liam and too pissed at Annie to hate anyone else. Annie didn’t actually sleep with Liam though. It was Naomi’s sister but everyone is blaming it on Annie which is why she called the cops and got in her car with a bottle of vodka and ended up killing that dude - and I think the new, blonde guy may have witnessed that. Not sure though. I have no idea why Ethan went to Montana…I think he has some sort of a higher calling and realized Beverly Hills is too vain - don’t think he’s coming back though b/c the actor who played him is actually getting a bunch of movie work. The dude Annie hooked up with last night is just some loser - I think next week’s episode is gonna be all about the photos he took. BTW, isn’t Annie a virgin? Or, wasn’t she a virgin? She never slept with Ethan…
My roommate has never seen the show before and it was hilarious explaining people to him. I was like “That’s Adriana. She used to be a child actress and a major junkie but then she got pregnant and started dating that indian dude and they almost got married but then they didn’t and she gave the baby up. They still haven’t had sex yet. She’s fine now.” “That’s Silver - she’s Kelly Taylor and David Silver’s little sister. She used to be a mean blogger but then she started dating the black guy, but then she went crazy and showed the whole school their sex tape and she ran away but they found her and realized she wasn’t crazy, just bipolar. She’s fine now.” and so on, and so on.
It seems silly to say that I exclusively know that Jon Gosselin is a douche…he’s proved that on his own. What I do have is a first hand account of Jon Gosselin running into a lovely, happy woman at her bachelorette party. She was partying it up in the Hamptons when Jon showed up at the same club. Jon came up to the happy bachelorette and told her she should never get married. While he may be right, it’s kinda douchey to go up to a blushing soon-to-be bride and say something like that. He was nice enough to pose for a picture with her. How sweet!
This image of all of this week’s Jon & Kate magazine covers is kind of mind-numbing. I actually watched an episode of it last night and the way they relate to each other now is so different from the first season of the show. Yes, I have watched every season of this show. Michael K over at DListed has a really great breakdown of what each of the magazines is saying this week. I personally just wanted to bring to your attention the story from her ex-fiance who says she used to each a lot of junk food and their typical date night consisted of an evening at Ruby Tuesdays. I love Ruby Tuesdays and had to give it a shout out here on NSG. Whenever my main gay and I need some special “us” time, we always find a romantic little corner table near the salad bar where we can go to town on some spinach artichoke dip and some pumpernickel croutons with avocado ranch dressing. Mmm…moving on…
Ashlee Simpson got wiggity wasted at a party recently and ended up making a fool of herself in front of everyone. Guess those pregnancy rumors were false.
Rihanna might leak some “less than flattering” nude photos of Chris Brown because she’s pissed about the nude photos leaked of her. She’s convinced someone from his camp leaked them. She’s also been talking smack about sexy time skills. Apparently, he’s clumsy.
The National Enquirer claims Brangelina are over. Brad is going to film a couple of movies in California while Angelina takes the kids to their French Chateau. I don’t really believe the story but they have broken a few really great stories this year so I thought I’d let y’all know. I’d like to think Brad would probably not let the kids go so easily.
Madonna is paying a lot of money to turn her boy toy Jesus into a DJ. She’s shelling out a small fortune on lessons and equipment. I’m not going to knock it. He’s working hard for that money.
Angelina Jolie eats cake! You know the public thinks you are too skinny when a photo of you eating a piece of cake is a big deal. Of course, everything she does is a big deal - it’s also a slow gossip day. I also have to point out that none of the photos show her actually finishing the cake.
Victoria’s Secret might need to find some new models. Gisele and Adriana Lima are both rumored to be pregnant.
Johnny Depp can’t wait to be an old man with a beer belly. I, however, can wait for this.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is a no-go. Bravo put out a casting call for Real Housewives of DC. I think DC would be more interesting than Beverly Hills but I wonder if they will get as many housewives interested in signing up for a reality show…especially one where the women tend to come across and generally ridiculous and petty. Isn’t pretty much everyone in DC connected to politics and therefore way more worried about their reputations?
Happy Memorial Day Weekend! I hope there is lots of daytime drinking in the days ahead. There are few things in life I enjoy more than drinking outdoors in the sun with good friends…there’s something about being day-drunk that’s a little less seedy than being 3am-drunk.
Britney Spears and family are vacationing in the Caribbean. Doesn’t she look AMAZING in the photo above? Such a huge difference from last year. I would kill to look like that in a bikini.
Speaking of looking good in a bikini, Lady Gaga has some advice for us on how to be “popstar” thin. “It’s all about starvation. Popstars don’t eat.” And there you have it.
Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are giving it another go. He asked a judge to dismiss his request to end their marriage. This is the third time they’ve filed for divorce and then backed out. I really want to know what kind of hold he has on her. Also, interesting that this happens a week after Natalie Portman made a public statement about NOT being with Sean Penn.
Hayden Panettiere is an idiot. She got a tattoo in Italian and it’s spelled wrong. Here’s a thought - if you don’t know for certain what something means, don’t get it permanently etched into your skin.
Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr might be engaged. I know people used to think he was a hot piece of ass, although I personally never saw it. Do people still care about him?
Katie Price had her staff remove all of Peter Andre’s stuff from their mansion and put it in storage…without telling him about it. I’m starting to think this divorce might be for real.
Two people each paid $20,000 for a kiss on the cheek from Robert Pattinson. Now, we all know he does special things to my no-no bits but even I think this is a little excessive. For $20K I would expect a little more. Maybe some tongue…maybe a crotch grab…a chance to run your fingers through his nasty ass, greasy hair (mmmm). I suppose it was for a good cause but those people got gypped.
Real Housewives of New Jersey Spolier Alert & the baby news of the day! Both Teresa and Jacqueline are pregnant.
The first official New Moon poster. Although Edward isn’t in this book that often, Robert Pattinson gets plenty of screentime as a flashback or figment of Bella’s imagination. Thank goodness.
Amy Winehouse was taken to a hospital in St. Lucia for the third time in as many months. Never fear, she was released the same day.
Chris Pine (the hottie from Star Trek) and one of those awfuls girls from the Hills are dating. Methinks that it’s time for an upgrade, Chris. You are now the star of what is sure to become a huge Hollywood franchise. His agent needs to get on top of this.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is working on a country album. Why?
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been refraining from posting any Rihanna stories lately. Well, she’s up and done the one thing thing that would get me to pay attention. She was seen making out with Aubrey Graham aka Jimmy Brooks aka the kid in the wheelchair on Degrassi at Lucky Strike in NYC.
Cameron Diaz loves the planet and therefore doesn’t flush the toilet when she goes #1.
Britney is being sued again. This time it is a former bodyguard who claims the working conditions were unsafe. Now, call me crazy but isn’t the very nature of being a bodyguard unsafe? Aren’t you supposed to put yourself in harm’s way to protect the person who hired you to be their bodyguard? It sort of seems like his case is completely without merit.
John Mayer thinks dudes hate him because he dates their fantasy girls. Wrong! Let me clarify. Dudes don’t hate John Mayer because I really don’t think dudes think about him. The only people who really care about him are chicks and gay guys who read gossip blogs and, well, we don’t really care - we’re just mildly interested because we heard he has a horse cock.
Bravo is casting for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I can already tell you there is no way this is going to be as entertaining as the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I couldn’t resist posting this picture of Pamela Anderson at Life Ball 2009. I have no idea what she’s doing but I love her whole look. A lot of people on the internets talk a bunch of smack about Pammy but I heart her. I always have. Yes, she’s a little older but she looks a hell of a lot better in that outfit than any of you reading this. She seems like someone who enjoys life and knows she’s only got a few more years to run around in bathing suits and she’s making the best of it. Heart. Her.
Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni (or Rojo Caliente, as you may know her if you are an avid DListed reader) are engaged! Good for them. Now, if only New York can get on the ball and make it legal for them to do it here. It really is shameful that Iowa legalized gay marriage before New York.
Natalie Portman has addressed the Sean Penn rumors and says they are just friends. I’m tempted to believe this because she rarely ever publicly addresses rumors or even her relationship. That said, I’m pretty sure they did it at least once. Sure, they are friends NOW but a few months ago…who knows.
Are Cameron Diaz and Adam Levine (a NSG Hottie of 2008) an item? They were spotted having lunch together this weekend which, in the gossip-sphere, means they are dating and in love. Just watch, in a couple weeks Star Magazine is going to publish false engagement and/or pregnancy rumors. Whatevs. I don’t hate them together. He’s a hot piece although seems a bit short for her. It’s also important to note that he is the 2nd guy she’s dated after Jessica Simpson.
For those of you who care, Shia LeBeouf is not packing heat downtown. In his own words: “I am not extremely well endowed.”
Katie Price and Peter Andre’s marriage suffered from a lack of sex. According to a “friend”, Peter said they hadn’t done it since 2007. Hot damn! That beats my no sex record with The Ex.
Britney spent $10,000,000 of the $12,000,000 she made last year. Mostly on staffing, legal fees and whatever it is that K-Fed has been eating.
Baby News! It seems impossible to have a Dish without any. Mel Gibson’s camp confirmed his girlfriend is in fact pregnant. She’s in her second trimester which is interesting since he just filed for divorce in April. Wonder what the Pope thinks of this.
I am overjoyed to share this news with you…are you ready?…ok…here it is - Luke Perry is in negotiations to guest star on the new 90210. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, Star Magazine is reporting this so it’s possibly not true. Even still, I hope it is. I was THE biggest Dylan fan back in the day. So much so that my dog’s name was Luke Perry [Insert My Last Name]. I hope this is true…Woot!
Happy Friday! In lieu of a celeb photo, I present a puppy falling asleep in a bowl of water. This will probably be my weekend. Just replace the puppy with a drunk blonde chick and the bowl of water with a pitcher of beer. Cheers!
According to Page Six, Sean Penn and Natalie Portman are still hitting it. I don’t get it. How do you go from Gael Garcia Bernal to Sean Penn? Sean Penn must have a monster cock that the only explanation why Natalie is still riding it and why Robin Wright Penn put up with so much shizz during their marriage. There’s really no other explanation.
Those Madonna / Jesus Luz marriage rumors were sort of true. They aren’t getting legally married but they are planning a Kaballah commitment ceremony. Interesting. I, shockingly, am not gonna hate on this. I kinda like the idea. You get to stand in front of your friends and share your love, throw a party and get presents. I do love presents and parties.
The Jon & Kate drama is neverending. Her brother and sister-in-law (who very, very few of you will remember from the early seasons of the show) sold their story. According to her brother, the marriage has been over for at least six months and Kate is a money hungry famewhore. When TLC offered him and his wife money for their participation in the show, Kate pushed him out because she wanted all the money for herself. Oh, and she really wants to be a talkshow host.
In other Jon & Kate news, Kate thinks her hair is awesome and that lots of people want to rock her style. WRONG!
John Mayer isn’t over Jennifer Aniston and often spends his nights alone playing his guitar. This is according to the slut that he started f-ing after his split with Jen.
Ashley Olsen has retired from acting. She’s now 100% a fashion designer. For those of you who care.
Neil Patrick Harris is hosting the Tony Awards. I’m so loving his career resurrection.
There is more baby news to report! (Insert feigned surprise.) Wanda Sykes and her partner just had twins - one boy and one girl. Ashlee Simpson might be pregnant. We hear this one might be another band-aid baby.
The US version of Absolutely Fabulous has been shut down. The pilot wasn’t picked up. Thank GAWD.
Now that Paulina Porizkova has been fired from ANTM she’s letting her claws out. She thinks the “big ego” producers referred to when they fired her - on her birthday - had something to so with the fact that she was the only one who spoke up about how unfair it was that Tyra would often show up to set 6 hours late and not apologize when everyone else was on time. Oh, and her and Tyra never ever spoke off camera.
Today is a very special day. It’s the anniversary of the birth of my favorite dirty British boy. Happy 23rd Birthday, Rob!
There is some ANTM dramz in the house. Paulina Porizkova was fired by producers on her BIRTHDAY! That’s cold. Even colder, they told it’s because of her huge ego…oh and they needed to save money, which is a fair reason. She must have pissed off Tyra big time for them to call her on her birthday, fire her and basically call her a b!tch.
This Jon & Kate drama is getting out of control. In People Magazine, Kate admits they might get divorced. In US Magazine, “sources” say Kate might be having an affair with her bodyguard. Star Magazine claims that Jon and Kate have a contract allowing him to cheat as long as he stays on the show. And, finally, the National Enquirer claims Kate has a violent temper and would lose the kids in a divorce. Wow. I’m tempted to say this is all a publicity stunt, but I dunno. All I really care about is who is talking to Aiden about animals? Who is Alexis screaming at? Jon and Kate can pretend to be the stars of the show but we all know Aiden and Alexis are the real stars. (Kudos to the very, very few of you who what I’m referring to.)
Lindsay Lohan has a messy house. The cops were called over and they couldn’t figure out if the place was ransacked or just plain messy. Is anyone genuinely surprised that a cokehead starlet and her idiotic, spoiled 15 year old sister can’t pick up after themselves?
More baby news - Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden are having a boy.
Is Daniel Radcliff gay? I know he’s been hanging out with a drag queen lately but I just thought he was one of those beautiful and rare straight male creatures who are 100% comfortable with the gays. (Yes, yes, lots of straight guys hang out with gay men but I ask you how many of the ones you know are TRULY, TRULY comfortable? It’s very rare, trust.) Well, a Ben Widdicombe blind item is insinuating Harry Potter is actually gay - “Which quietly gay young actor referred to in a previous Cut the Labels item has started hanging out with a drag queen crowd? Methinks the closet door is cracking open.” Interesting…I knew there was a reason I was so sexually attracted to Harry Potter. It always works that way.
If you were watching ANTM last night and are a regular reader of the blog, you weren’t surprised to hear that Tyra is taking the girls to Sao Paolo. That’s right, you heard it here first. In fact, EVERYONE, including NY magazine, heard it here first.
We may not have many sources here at NSG, but the ones we have are legit.
